Beyond A Crush Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Years Later

  Beyond A Crush

  A feel good romance

  By Nova Ro

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or area used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2018 Nova Ro – All Rights Reserved

  No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means; electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other, except for brief quotations in printed articles or reviews, without the prior permission of the author.

  This book is for sale to adults only. Contains lesbian love scenes.

  To my lover Cindy…

  Chapter 1

  I haven't seen Terri's mom since Terri and I graduated from college. Just thinking about Ms. Jefferson makes me nervous. My stomach is in knots and I haven't even seen her yet. I feel like I'm sixteen again. I can remember the first time I met Terri and her mom. They moved to our block on a hot sunny day. Ms. Jefferson was the prettiest woman I'd ever seen. I could not take my eyes off of her. She was standing against a U-Haul truck, in a pair of blue jean shorts, and a white fitted t-shirt with flowers on it. She had my heart that very day. I had a serious crush on her throughout my teenage years.

  Over the summer, Terri and I became best friends. We did everything together. My family loved her and vice-versa. I spent the night over Terri's house all the time. I practically lived there. The more time I spent with Terri, the stronger my feelings for her mother became. I've had these feelings before toward different girls my age, but no one has ever come close to what I felt for Ms. Jefferson. My sixteen year old body was craving and dreaming about her daily. Thoughts of her consumed my mind every time I saw her. I wanted to touch and feel any part of her, but I knew that would never happen. She looked at me like I was her own daughter.

  Now here it is, thirteen years later. I'm with Terri and we're pulling up to her mom's house. Ms. Jefferson moved from our block a couple years ago. This was the first time I'd been to her new home and it was breathtaking. The landscape was gorgeous and colorful. Flowers and trees were planted everywhere. Ms. Jefferson had extraordinary taste. Even though I'm nervous, I am excited to see her. Terri got out of the car and headed towards the front door.

  "Are you coming?" she yelled.

  "I am. Give me a second."

  My heart was beating fast. Or at least it felt like it. My hands were sweaty. The knots in my stomach were still there. I felt sick. Terri is waving at me to get out of the car. Ms. Jefferson opens the door and hugs Terri. As I'm walking towards them, my heart is pounding. Ms. Jefferson still has that same infectious smile.

  "Jamie, get over here."

  She pulls me into a tight hug. Her perfume lingers and I inhale it in. She kisses me on the cheek.

  "You are absolutely stunning."

  "Thank you." I said as I looked into her eyes, then shyly looked away.

  Ms. Jefferson still takes my breath away. While Terri and her mom were talking in the kitchen, I went outside to grab our bags out of the car. I leaned against the car, reached into my pocket, and pulled out my pack of cigarettes. Great! Just three left. I picked the wrong time to stop quitting. Terri screams my name from the front door. I turn around and look at her.

  "I thought you were going to quit."

  "Yeah, I know, I know."

  Ms. Jefferson cooked a big dinner for us that night. She made our favorites. Macaroni and cheese, collard greens, fried chicken, cornbread, and Mississippi mud pie.

  "Ms. Jefferson, dinner was delicious. I am stuffed."

  "Yeah, me too. Mom you did that!"

  "I'm glad you all enjoyed dinner, and Jamie, please call me Simone."

  "You got it!" I said grinning ear-to-ear.

  Simone got up from the table and started putting dishes in the sink.

  "We can do the dishes Simone."

  I poked Terri in her side. Terri started laughing.

  "Yes, we can do the dishes Mom." Terri looked at me and rolled her eyes.

  After dinner I unpacked my clothes and took a shower. My room was upstairs next to Terri's room. There were two other rooms upstairs besides ours. One was Simone's office. The other was a gym. Simone's room was downstairs. It was in the back section of the house. Her bedroom had an infinity pool right outside her patio door. I could see the pool from my room and it was amazing. The lighting around it made it glow. It looked like something out of a movie.

  I put on my robe and went to Terri's room. She was sleep and snoring loudly. I quietly closed her door and went downstairs to the kitchen. I wanted to smoke so badly. Cigarette cravings are the worst. As I walked into the kitchen, Simone was leaning against the counter drinking a glass of red wine.

  "Hey, what are you drinking?" I asked.

  My robe started to come undone, so I adjusted my belt. Why didn't I put on my pajamas? I was naked underneath my robe and it made me very uncomfortable standing there in front of Simone. Her eyes were fixed on me. I felt hot and bothered.

  "Are you alright?"

  "Yes, I'm fine. My robe isn't acting right."

  She smiled at me. Her smiled filled the entire room.

  "Would you like a glass of wine?"

  "Yes please."

  Simone put her glass of wine on the countertop and grabbed a glass out of the cabinet. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was so sexy. She was wearing a baby blue, button down, pajama shirt. It looked great on her body. I watched her every movement. She walked over to me and handed me a glass.

  "You have that same look on your face, as you did, when you were younger."

  I felt like I was caught. I wanted to ask her, what did she mean? Instead I held my drink in the air.

  "Cheers."

  We clicked our glasses together and took a sip. The first three buttons on her shirt were undone and I could see her breasts. I wanted to reach out and touch them.

  "Your belt is coming undone again." she said.

  I looked down and quickly tied it.

  "You want to go sit outside? Simone asked. "That way you can smoke your cigarette."

  "Sure."

  The look on her face was disappointing. I felt embarrassed. I crumbled the cigarettes and threw the pack away in the garbage as we walked outside. We sat down on the loungers.

  "It looks so magical and peaceful out here." I said

  "Thank you. I wanted it to be my very own getaway. Sometimes I don't feel like getting on a plane and going anywhere, so I created this oasis."

  "Well I love it!" I said.

  "Thank you. I do, too."

  Simone took a sip of her wine and laid down on the lounger.

  "So tell me Jamie, what have you been up too? The last time I saw you, you were graduating and heading to Boston for an internship. That was about five or six years ago."

  "Has it been that long?" I asked.

  "Yes it has."

  "I wish I had some amazing adventures to tell you. The company I had the internship at, hired me to work for them full time. I worked for them up until three months ago when they laid me off."

  "Why did they lay you off?'

  "Low man on the totem pole, so I got booted first along with ten other people."

  "I'm so sorry to hear that."

  "Thanks, but it worked out. I
moved back in with my parents so I didn't have to pay rent. And in two weeks I'm starting my new job."

  "I'm glad everything worked out for you."

  "I am too."

  I turned to look at Simone. She caught me staring at her, so I quickly turned my head and looked the other way.

  "How's your love life? Are you in a relationship or talking to anyone?" Simone asked.

  "Nope. I don't have anyone in my life at the moment. My focus right now is on my new job and finding an apartment. What about you?"

  Simone started laughing.

  "I'm too old to be in a relationship." she said

  "You are not old at all!" I protested.

  "Well, sometimes forty-four feels slightly old. Having Terri at a young age, I had to grow up fast. Sometimes I feel older than I am."

  "Well feeling and looking old are two different things. You are breath taking."

  I can't believe I just said that. Simone turns around and looks directly in my eyes. I can feel the sweat forming on my forehead. I reach for my napkin and pat it.

  "I mean, anyone who sees you can see how gorgeous you are."

  What is the matter with me? Why can't I just shut up?!

  Simone has this wide grin on her face. "Well thank you Jamie." I have you and Terri to keep me young." she said as she touched my arm.

  Simone's touch sends a tingling sensation throughout my body. I couldn't speak. I felt like I was paralyzed at that moment. I finally snapped out of whatever I was experiencing. I knew I had to get out of there.

  "Simone, it has been really nice catching up with you. I'm going to go to bed. Today has been a long day. Thank you for the wine."

  "You're welcome Jamie. Goodnight."

  "Goodnight Simone."

  As I went in the house, I turn back to look at Simone. I would do anything for her. I wish I could tell her how much I loved her and wanted to be with her. As I lay in my bed, I keep going over my conversation with Simone. I wish I was honest with her and just told her I'm not into men. I don't know what stopped me from telling her. I guess I'm afraid of her rejecting me, or throwing me out of her house, or never talking to me again. These are definitely my greatest fears. That's why only a few people know about my sexual preference. Hell my parents don't even know. I keep telling myself, I'll tell them when I get serious about someone. My brain is going into overload. I turn my focus back to Simone and her sexy body. I'm still wet from when she touched my arm. I reach under the pillow and grab my bullet. I turn it on and think about making love to Simone.

  The week went by rather quickly. I was packed and ready to hit the road to my parent's house. I need to hurry up and find a place to live so I can be myself. I can't get my groove on living with my parents. I also hated that they lived in Timbuktu. The commute to my new job was two hours from my parent’s house.

  "You up?" Terri ask as she walks into my room. "I have to run to the store. Don't leave until I get back."

  "I won't, but don't take all day."

  Terri laughs. "Whatever."

  I picked up my bags and went downstairs. Simone was talking on her cell. She turns around and smiles at me. She tells the person she's talking to, she'll call them back.

  "I see you're packed and ready to go. I hope you enjoyed your stay."

  "I did. Thank you for letting me visit".

  "My home is always open to you. You're like my other daughter." she said.

  I smiled at her, but I was thinking, I'm not trying to be your daughter.

  Simone moved close to me. "Close your eyes."

  Oh my! Is this happening?! I close my eyes and lean in for a kiss. I didn't feel her lips on mine. I open my eyes and Simone is looking at me puzzled.

  "Umm... you had some lint on your eyelash. I was just getting it." she said.

  I couldn't speak. I wanted to run out of the room. I'm such an idiot. Why did I think she wanted to kiss me? What the hell is wrong with me?!

  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that".

  Simone takes my hand. "Yes you did and it's ok".

  Simone gave me a tight hug and kissed me on my cheek. I was shaking on the inside. I wanted to cry. She could see I was feeling bad about what just happened, so she changed the subject.

  "So... when are you coming back to visit?" she asked

  "I'm not sure. I start my new job tomorrow." My voice was trembling. "It's two hours from my parent's house. On the weekends, I'll probably be catching up on my sleep"

  "I totally understand. That is a long boring drive."

  "Yes it is. I need to find an apartment close to my job as soon as possible. "

  Simone walks over to the chair and sits down.

  "You can stay here while you look for an apartment. I have plenty of room."

  Before I could answer, Terri walks through the door and hears the conversation.

  "Yes! Stay for the summer and keep my mom company. I'll be in New York and she needs someone to look after her".

  Simone gave her a stern look.

  "I can't impose on you Simone."

  "You're not imposing."

  Terri started chanting, "Stay, stay, stay, stay."

  I smiled awkwardly at the both of them.

  "Ok, ok! I'll stay."

  Living with Simone was hard for me. She treated me so well, but I was ashamed to be around her because of what happened. It was hard for me to look her in the eyes. I made sure I left for my job early in the morning and came home late at night. I pass the time after work by going to the library or chilling at the coffee cafe, around the corner from Simone's house. I've been doing this for the past three weeks. I have to admit, it is wearing me down. I don't know how long I can keep this up. As I get to the house, I see the lights are off. Simone should be asleep by now. It should be safe to go in.

  I look down the hall and I can see the light from her bedroom is on. I hurry to my room. I felt like I was going crazy with all this sneaking around. I needed a nice long hot shower. The water felt good on my body. I start thinking about Simone. Her eyes, her plump lips, her butt, her long sexy legs. I couldn't help but touch myself. It's been a long time since I've done this. I've been so tired lately. I can feel the sensation building up in my body. I hold myself up on the shower wall with my free hand. I can feel the tension being released as I climax. I moan Simone's name. If she only knew, what she did to my body. After I put on my pajamas, I go to the kitchen to get some water. Simone's light is still on in her bedroom, so I decide to stop by her room. I knock on the door.

  "Come in." Simone said in a whisper.

  Simone is stretch out on her couch reading a book. She has on her bedtime, button up shirt. This one is white instead of light blue. Her legs are so muscular. She must definitely work out.

  "You don't have to stand in the doorway. Come and sit down next to me."

  I walk over and sit down at the far end of the couch.

  "How's the new job going? She asked. I haven't talked to you in weeks. For some reason, I feel you might be ignoring me.

  "I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel like I'm ignoring you. This job is more demanding than I thought it would be."

  "I see. Is that why you leave at five in the morning and don't come home until midnight?"

  I sat there quietly looking out the window. I was going to lie to her, but I decided to tell her the truth.

  "To be honest Simone, I feel like an idiot every time I'm around you. I keep replaying that day in the living room, over and over again in my head. It's hard for me to look at you. I've never told anyone, except for Terri, but I'm... I'm..."

  I couldn't bring myself to tell Simone the truth. I've been living a lie for so long. Living in two worlds. Scared if I let people in and let them know who I am, I won't be accepted or loved anymore. Simone sits in silence with me. She moves close to me. I keep looking straight ahead, avoiding her stare. My eyes start to water. Simone puts her hand on my chin and turns my face toward hers.

  "I know you Jamie. I've known who you were sin
ce the first time Terri introduced us. It's ok sweetheart." Simone smiles at me and gives me a hug. "It's ok to live in your truth. I know you're gay. I've known way before the living room incident. I just want you to know, it's ok. Sometimes we hide who we are. Even though it's not healthy for us. I still love you Jamie and I always will."

  Simon wiped the tears from my eyes. She is truly an incredible woman. This is just one of the reasons why I am in love with her.

  "You have that look again." she said.

  I quickly change my facial expression.